Some of the worst inventions in history have been discovered among the extensive photo of LIFE magazine. These were all taken between the late 1930’s and early 1960’s. I wonder why they never caught on?

For parents who want to make sure their babies get enough fresh air and get toughened up by falling into a city street, there’s Baby Cage.

And if you want to let your baby out of its cage (and it survived) embarrass it publicly with this harness swing.

Don’t be a jerk and blow smoke in the faces of others; be a moron and use this giant cigarette holder.

A cigarette holder built for two, how romantic. Carry it with you on your date.

Save your cigarette from precipitation with this adorable cancer umbrella.

The individual breast bra, for the woman who wants to make her breasts look like really pointy pies.

Would you like to try some cure-all Honegar? It’s all natural, made from honey and vinegar. Delicious, no?

This dog restrainer was invented only because leashes are just too normal looking.